It occurs to me that your acquaintance who—falsely—believes he’s “sophisticated” probably doesn’t know the meaning of the related word, “sophistry.” Too bad. Much of what he said was sophistry.
People in Kansas didn’t build Versailles; neither did the “sophisticated” King Louis XIV. It was built, more than likely, by very unsophisticated, but nevertheless highly skilled, stonemasons, timber framers, and other guild workers and tradespeople. Much like the people who built the St. Louis Arch, the US Capitol, or any other enduring works that “sophisticates” like to point to as the high-water marks of their civilization.
I’m from Indiana, grew up in similar (truly) conservative Christian traditions as you (though mine was Presbyterian, not Evangelical), and I look forward to reading you book. Though I no longer think of myself as Christian, there’s no doubt that the Judeo-Christian traditions of care, fidelity, love, and forgiveness permeate my human relations.
Looking forward to reading your musings here as well!
"People with sophistication don’t have to be pretentious..." I'm still slightly bewildered that someone uttered those word unironically to another human being. My wife and I both grew up in similar circles as you, and she's unfortunately shared similar stories. The words that come to my mind now for describing such a person are definitely ones I never would have considered when I was teenager!
Moving on, then, I am SO excited to hear about your new book! I've followed you on Twitter and your reporting on NPR for some time, and as I said can relate to many aspects of your background... I've had so many conversations lately with my wife and other friends about how the way we were raised has impacted us now, so I can't wait to read your perspective on such topics.
I'm so glad Substack alerted me to this newsletter - instant subscribe, and now I'm off to pre-order your book!
So sorry you had to deal with this. As a fellow midwesterner, I remember HATING DC for the first couple years I was here because of this exact reason. I’d go to parties to try to meet people and they’d hear what my apparently non-prestigious job was and walk away mid-sentence.
This guy is obviously a twat but I could 100% see where he took you back to a really bad place. Thank you for sharing and so sorry you dealt with this!
I just wrote a nice long comment but lost it. In any case the obtuse behavior this guy displayed - whoa! Midwest rules don’t require a status check at the door! That’s one of the wonderful things about M-W people! They may be as deeply accomplished as you are - but they aren’t out to brag about it. This man sounds so lame - such a knob-head - that I hope someone else will deliver a smack-down. The worst part of EC life is often this judgmental ness. It stems from insecurity.
I’m no psychoanalyst, but I like to play one on the internet. This guy’s “confidence” really rings hollow. I don’t think he was trying to convince you that he was “important” or “sophisticated,” I think he was trying to convince himself.
Looking forward to your book. I've enjoyed your reporting for NPR and was glad to see you establish a sub stack. I am a retired Catholic (I put in my 25 years and then said that's enough) and deeply appreciate how people are raised with certain messages and how hard they are to disentangle from who we each choose to be. I have met that person you described and they are my family. Well educated, bright, could be charming if they want to be, but oh so hopelessly self-important. They probably caught that from their parents or classmates in their own desperate internal process to not be on the outside looking in. There is hope for those people, but it because of people like you who are willing to see them for what they are and then illuminate it, if not at the time, then later. They aren't going anywhere. How could they? They are stuck with themselves. Thank you for sharing. Much appreciated.
It occurs to me that your acquaintance who—falsely—believes he’s “sophisticated” probably doesn’t know the meaning of the related word, “sophistry.” Too bad. Much of what he said was sophistry.
People in Kansas didn’t build Versailles; neither did the “sophisticated” King Louis XIV. It was built, more than likely, by very unsophisticated, but nevertheless highly skilled, stonemasons, timber framers, and other guild workers and tradespeople. Much like the people who built the St. Louis Arch, the US Capitol, or any other enduring works that “sophisticates” like to point to as the high-water marks of their civilization.
I’m from Indiana, grew up in similar (truly) conservative Christian traditions as you (though mine was Presbyterian, not Evangelical), and I look forward to reading you book. Though I no longer think of myself as Christian, there’s no doubt that the Judeo-Christian traditions of care, fidelity, love, and forgiveness permeate my human relations.
Looking forward to reading your musings here as well!
Doesn't this guy know that the people of the Midwest DID build Versailles? At that it's only 8 minutes away from Russia? https://www.google.com/maps/dir/Versailles,+OH+45380/Russia,+OH/@40.2317703,-84.4644046,14z/data=!3m1!4b1!4m14!4m13!1m5!1m1!1s0x883fbc543cd61379:0xad41435322a12f1e!2m2!1d-84.484396!2d40.2225481!1m5!1m1!1s0x883fa30ce1dda3e9:0xab15ac6dda80a6aa!2m2!1d-84.409394!2d40.2344926!3e0
"People with sophistication don’t have to be pretentious..." I'm still slightly bewildered that someone uttered those word unironically to another human being. My wife and I both grew up in similar circles as you, and she's unfortunately shared similar stories. The words that come to my mind now for describing such a person are definitely ones I never would have considered when I was teenager!
Moving on, then, I am SO excited to hear about your new book! I've followed you on Twitter and your reporting on NPR for some time, and as I said can relate to many aspects of your background... I've had so many conversations lately with my wife and other friends about how the way we were raised has impacted us now, so I can't wait to read your perspective on such topics.
I'm so glad Substack alerted me to this newsletter - instant subscribe, and now I'm off to pre-order your book!
🙋🏼♀️❤️❤️
So sorry you had to deal with this. As a fellow midwesterner, I remember HATING DC for the first couple years I was here because of this exact reason. I’d go to parties to try to meet people and they’d hear what my apparently non-prestigious job was and walk away mid-sentence.
This guy is obviously a twat but I could 100% see where he took you back to a really bad place. Thank you for sharing and so sorry you dealt with this!
I just wrote a nice long comment but lost it. In any case the obtuse behavior this guy displayed - whoa! Midwest rules don’t require a status check at the door! That’s one of the wonderful things about M-W people! They may be as deeply accomplished as you are - but they aren’t out to brag about it. This man sounds so lame - such a knob-head - that I hope someone else will deliver a smack-down. The worst part of EC life is often this judgmental ness. It stems from insecurity.
Always enjoy and appreciate your reporting. I am so impressed with your accomplishments. I am very much looking forward to your book.
I’m no psychoanalyst, but I like to play one on the internet. This guy’s “confidence” really rings hollow. I don’t think he was trying to convince you that he was “important” or “sophisticated,” I think he was trying to convince himself.
Looking forward to your book. I've enjoyed your reporting for NPR and was glad to see you establish a sub stack. I am a retired Catholic (I put in my 25 years and then said that's enough) and deeply appreciate how people are raised with certain messages and how hard they are to disentangle from who we each choose to be. I have met that person you described and they are my family. Well educated, bright, could be charming if they want to be, but oh so hopelessly self-important. They probably caught that from their parents or classmates in their own desperate internal process to not be on the outside looking in. There is hope for those people, but it because of people like you who are willing to see them for what they are and then illuminate it, if not at the time, then later. They aren't going anywhere. How could they? They are stuck with themselves. Thank you for sharing. Much appreciated.
Sarah, I know far too many a-holes like that guy. You should not feel bad about walking out ... he didn't deserve the pleasure of your company.